


Apocrypha

by theoreticalpixy



Category: Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-06
Updated: 2011-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticalpixy/pseuds/theoreticalpixy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She does not have a name and that is fine with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apocrypha

She has been called many things in her life but she has never considered any of them her name before.

Her official designation in her planets records is 406918. That is what she is called until age 12 when she ends up on earth after a series of mishaps and becomes a federation ward. There she is all but assigned the name Morgan. She likes the way it feels to say but it tastes too foreign to keep and call her own. By the time she reaches the academy she has gone through seven other names and thrown each away.

At the academy most people just call her cadet, which she likes. Her select friend group occasionally tries to name her but nothing lasts very long. She's had Human, Vulcan, Andorian, and occasionally invented names but none of them are quite _her._ The fit is never right. By the time she accepts her first assignment it's a question that she's stopped worrying about. The need to be defined by a name is foreign to her.

Once she's on active duty she's referred to by her rank and that's plenty for her. Her life moves forward even without a stable name. She has never needed one to define herself and her achievements. The official Starfleet record lists her name as 406918, her fall back. What she gave when they had required a name. At the time it was the most truthful answer she had.

When Christopher Pike calls her 'Number One' for the first time after her promotion she can't help but admit there is something fitting about how he says it. It's a rarely used term at the time, XO, Commander, or just plain first officer are all far more prevalent. The way it rolls off his tongue fits anyway. Pike is a young captain, still technically a commander himself, but there is a dash of something old fashioned about him that makes the title sound a little perfect. Had she realized what was happening at the time she would have resisted. The thought of being named is not something she longs for. Part of her thinks she's not meant to have a name since every time someone tries to name her it just slips away, rolling off her like water. Every time except this one. Pike doesn't mean it as a name, not yet at least, and she doesn't see it for anything more than another title so she takes it gracefully. Both blissfully unaware of what it will become. When she looks back in later years she will recognize the moment as her christening.

A month later someone else uses the title to refer to her. She finds it momentarily odd but brushes it off and goes about her business. The rest of the crew still refers to her as Commander at this point. As they edge into deep space the name steadily creeps up on her until everyone uses it and she can't even remember when the switch occurred. At first she chalks it up to copying Pike, but it becomes apparent that they have adopted it as her name instead of just a title. She accepts it more than any other name she has been given, partially because she can't fight the entire crew on the issue, but she doesn't believe it is going to stick. Nothing else has and there seems no reason why this one should.

When he whispers it against her lips after the first kiss it becomes a part of her. It has been just over three years since the first time he called her Number One and he has said it hundreds of times since, but it's as if she never heard it properly before. Perhaps she is the last to realize it, no she's _sure_ she's the last actually, but there in the dark she finally understands that the name is hers. She accepts it fully, taking it from Pike's lips and wrapping it around herself like a mantle she was always meant to wear. They are filthy from the cave in, worn out, breaking protocol, and completely out of contact with the ship and everything that defines her... but the name is still right. The truth of the matter is clear when nothing else is. Her name has always been Number One and she was just waiting for someone worthy to give her the words.


End file.
